By Sonu Tyagi, Founder, Go Spiritual & Approach Entertainment
From the earliest whispers of human history, beauty has held an almost magnetic allure. Whether it’s the chiseled features of a Greek god in ancient sculptures or the polished faces gracing modern screens, we are drawn to physical perfection like moths to a flame. But why do we so often fall in love with beautiful women or men, while those deemed “less attractive” seem to fade into the background? Is it mere lust, a shallow obsession with aesthetics, or does it point to something deeper about human nature and the pursuit of love? As someone who has spent years exploring the intersections of spirituality, human connection, and storytelling through my work with Go Spiritual and Approach Entertainment, I believe this question deserves a closer look—one that moves beyond surface judgments to uncover the layers of biology, psychology, and the soul’s yearning for true connection.
The Biology of Beauty: Nature’s Seductive Design
At its core, our attraction to beauty is rooted in biology. Evolutionary psychology tells us that humans are wired to seek partners who exhibit traits associated with health, fertility, and genetic fitness. Symmetrical faces, clear skin, and proportionate features are often subconscious signals of good genes and robust health. In ancient times, choosing a mate with these qualities increased the chances of survival for offspring. This primal instinct still lingers, even in our modern world, where survival is less about hunting and gathering and more about navigating dating apps.
But beauty’s pull isn’t just about reproduction. Studies, like those from the University of Texas, show that attractive individuals are often perceived as more competent, trustworthy, and sociable—a phenomenon known as the “halo effect.” This bias colors our interactions, making us more likely to approach, admire, or even idealize those who fit society’s beauty standards. It’s no surprise, then, that we gravitate toward the “beautiful” in romantic contexts, where first impressions are often visual.
Yet, this biological wiring doesn’t tell the whole story. If attraction were purely about symmetry or fertility, why do we sometimes overlook stunningly attractive people for someone less conventionally appealing? Why do some relationships rooted in physical allure fizzle out, while others, built on less tangible qualities, endure? To understand this, we must dig deeper into the interplay of lust, love, and societal conditioning.
The Seduction of Lust: Beauty as a Spark, Not a Flame
Lust often masquerades as love, especially when beauty is involved. The rush of seeing someone who fits our idealized image—sculpted features, a radiant smile, or a captivating presence—can trigger a cascade of dopamine, the brain’s feel-good chemical. This is lust in its raw form: a visceral, immediate response to visual stimuli. It’s why a glance across a crowded room can feel electric, why a perfectly curated Instagram profile can spark infatuation before a single word is exchanged.
But lust is a fleeting fire. It burns bright but often lacks the fuel to sustain itself. When we “fall” for beauty, we’re often caught in this initial blaze, mistaking it for love. The danger lies in confusing the two. Lust thrives on the surface—on appearances, on fantasy, on the thrill of the chase. Love, however, demands depth. It requires knowing someone’s quirks, values, and vulnerabilities, which no amount of physical perfection can reveal.
In my work with Approach Entertainment, I’ve seen how media amplifies this obsession with beauty. From Bollywood’s airbrushed stars to influencers with flawless filters, we’re bombarded with images that equate beauty with worth. This creates a feedback loop: we chase beauty because it’s celebrated, and it’s celebrated because we chase it. But this cycle often leaves us empty, chasing an ideal that doesn’t exist in reality. The “perfect” partner is a myth, yet we’re conditioned to believe that beauty guarantees happiness.
The Cultural Lens: Why “Ugly” Is Overlooked
So why don’t we fall for those society labels as “ugly”? The answer lies partly in cultural conditioning. Beauty standards are not universal; they’re shaped by media, history, and societal norms. In some cultures, fuller figures signify prosperity; in others, fair skin is prized. These standards are arbitrary, yet they dictate who we notice and who we ignore. Someone deemed “unattractive” by mainstream standards—whether due to unconventional features, body type, or style—often falls outside this narrow lens, making them less likely to spark that initial attraction.
This isn’t to say that “ugly” people (a term I use reluctantly, as beauty is subjective) can’t be loved. They often are, deeply and profoundly, by those who see beyond the surface. But our societal bias toward beauty means these connections may take longer to form, requiring time and proximity to reveal the qualities that truly matter: kindness, humor, resilience, and authenticity. Unfortunately, in a fast-paced world driven by first impressions, many never get that chance.
The Spiritual Perspective: Seeking Real Love
At Go Spiritual, we explore the deeper dimensions of human connection, and I’ve come to believe that true love transcends the physical. While beauty may catch the eye, it’s the soul that captures the heart. Real love is not about perfection but about resonance—a meeting of minds, values, and energies. It’s found in shared laughter, mutual respect, and the quiet moments when you feel seen for who you truly are.
Spirituality teaches us that every soul has inherent beauty, regardless of outward appearance. When we fall in love with someone’s essence—their compassion, their courage, their unique way of seeing the world—we move beyond lust and societal conditioning. This is why relationships rooted in deeper connection often outlast those built on physical attraction alone. A 2018 study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who prioritize emotional intimacy and shared values report higher relationship satisfaction over time, even as physical attraction fades.
Yet, this doesn’t mean beauty is irrelevant. It’s a doorway, a spark that can lead to something more meaningful if we allow it. The challenge is to balance our natural inclination toward beauty with an openness to what lies beneath. In my own journey, I’ve learned that the most profound connections often come unexpectedly, with people who don’t fit the mold but who touch your life in ways you never imagined.
Breaking the Obsession: A Path to Authentic Connection
So how do we move beyond our obsession with beauty and lust to find real love? It starts with self-awareness. Recognize the biases that shape your attractions—whether from biology, media, or culture—and question them. Ask yourself: Am I drawn to this person for who they are, or for what they represent? Am I chasing a fantasy, or am I open to reality?
Next, prioritize connection over perfection. Spend time with people, not just their appearances. Listen to their stories, share their struggles, and discover what makes them unique. Beauty fades, but character endures. As the founder of Go Spiritual, I encourage practices like mindfulness and self-reflection to cultivate this deeper perspective. Meditation, for instance, can help you see beyond superficial judgments and connect with others on a soul level.
Finally, redefine beauty itself. Celebrate the beauty in kindness, in resilience, in authenticity. When we expand our definition of what it means to be beautiful, we open ourselves to a wider spectrum of love—one that includes those who may not grace magazine covers but who light up our lives in ways that matter most.
Conclusion: Beauty as a Beginning, Not an End
Our fascination with beautiful women and men is a natural part of being human, rooted in biology and amplified by culture. But it’s only the beginning of the story. Lust may draw us in, but it’s love—real, messy, soul-deep love—that keeps us tethered. By looking beyond the surface, we can break free from the obsession with beauty and discover connections that are richer, truer, and more enduring. In the end, it’s not about falling for the beautiful or the “ugly”—it’s about falling for the human, in all their imperfect, extraordinary glory.
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Sonu Tyagi Intro: Sonu Tyagi is a renowned writer, director, producer, and founder of Go Spiritual and Approach Entertainment. Through Go Spiritual, he promotes spiritual awareness, mental health, wellness, and social causes via media, events, and a dedicated news magazine and app. Approach Entertainment leads in celebrity management, film production, advertising & corporate films productions, films marketing and events, while Approach Communications excels in PR & Integrated Communications and Approach Bollywood covers entertainment news. With expertise in psychology, journalism, and filmmaking, Tyagi blends creativity and leadership, collaborating with top Indian media and advertising agencies.
For more details, contact 9820965004 / 9716962242 or visit www.approachentertainment.com & www.gospiritualindia.org
